I walked in the bathroom the other morning to find Josh putting on deodorant. It looked funny. Not him putting on the deodorant, but the deodorant itself. So later, after he’d gone to work, I retrieved the stick from one of our bathroom drawers and opened it up. It was old.
Quite a while ago I found a great deal on deodorant and bought three sticks for him. Apparently this wasn’t as frugal a move as I thought since this stick has gone bad. Even with a quarter of it left, I chucked it into the wicker waste basket next to the toilet. I went to Wal Mart and bought him some fresh deodorant. I brought it home, unpackaged it, and placed it in the drawer.
While I was placing it in the drawer I got to thinking about how our marriage works. Josh Culver has not bought his own deodorant in nearly 18 years. I get to do this for him. And it’s really such a simple thing, but something I like doing. I rarely take out the garbage, or change my own oil in my car. I’m pretty sure the furnace in my house has a filter that gets changed, but Josh Culver does that for me. Kitchen pipes start moving slowly, or the dryer isn’t drying properly – Josh Culver. I’m overly sensitive and can’t handle people or noise or adulting, and when I’m just about to lose my sh*t – well, Josh Culver tells me to run. “Go put on your running shoes and run.” He knows what I need even when I don’t.
I make his dinner most nights, and I try to keep his clothes clean. I have always been the one to open the mail and pay all the bills with the money he busts his butt to earn for our family. I run the kids to co-op, and to appointments. I do as many indoor and outdoor household chores as I can, using his tools and sometimes getting muddy or bloody and often angry. But I do as much as I can physically do so that he doesn’t have to.
It’s not as if he has much free time.
He builds me chicken coops and chicken runs. He puts up fences and makes homes for all my animals. He drops his projects to complete mine. He tells me no on many things, but yes to so many more.
He puts his phone down to listen to whatever I have to say. He takes me in his arms and lets my head just lean against his chest and he doesn’t move until he knows I’m done being touched.
He brushes my hair.
He talks me off all my ledges. Sometimes I’m sitting on that ledge in the middle of the night, and if he so much as breathes differently, well, that must mean he’s awake and can talk to me, right?
I’ve been a pretty piss poor wife for a lot of years. I started young without a lot to go off of. I had so much growing up to do, and my word has Josh Culver been patient with me. But I believe we are in some good days right now and I am trying so hard to savor them, soak them up, and live them out. I am so lucky to be this man’s wife.
Who ever would have thought, the simple act of buying a stick of deodorant could make a girl appreciate her husband so much? But it really did.